１２。節
SCENE #12
"節"
SETTING: 4-99 INTERIOR
SCENE: The Salaryman and Takami enter the convenience store called 4-99. True to form, it resembles a somewhat shabby Japanese convenience store, with aisles of nondescript food products, magazines and toiletries. It is completely deserted, other than a morose, black-haired woman cocooned in a blanket behind the counter.
Takami
Secchan, yoohoo!
???
oh
???
another one, huh
Takami
Yeppers! On a scale of 1 to 10, how hyped are you to do "that" again?
???
2
Takami
Wow! That's DOUBLE hyped compared to last time!
Takami
Mister Salaryman, this is Matsumoto Setsuko. She's a bona fide yuki-on'na!
Salaryman
(A yuki-on'na...according to legend, a ruthless wielder of ice magic that preys upon unsuspecting mortals.)
The camera briefly pans towards Setsuko, and then back to its default position.
Salaryman
(...Somehow I get the sense that the legends may have exaggerated a bit here.)
Salaryman
A pleasure to meet you, Miss Matsumoto.
Setsuko
charmed
Takami
Now, I guess I have a bit of explaining to do...*ahem*
Takami
If you haven't noticed already, Mister Salaryman, Heck -- that's our world! -- can be kind of dangerous at times.
Takami
Humans like you can't hope to hurt the monsters who live here with physical attacks. You can try, but it won't do anything -- except make them angry, probably.
Salaryman
(So that's why that cat...thing from earlier didn't even flinch when I hit it with my briefcase. And here I thought I'd just gotten weak with age.)
Salaryman
So then...in the event that I'm accosted by some ruffian, what can I do but run?
Takami
Why, I'm SO glad you asked.
Takami
The truth is, even though Heck is a scary place, most people here aren't so bad when you get to know them.
Takami
Even when they attack you, pretty much everyone here is up for a good conversation.
Takami
By INTERACTing with opponents, or PRESENTing them with items you find outside, you can make friends with them and end the battle!
Salaryman
"Make friends with them and end the battle"...pardon me if I'm a bit incredulous, but are you serious?
Takami
Of course I am!
Setsuko
it's not like you have another option
Salaryman
...Point taken.
Takami
Instead of seeing battles as "enemy encounters", try to look at them more like friend encounters! Or "Frencounters", if you will!
Salaryman
(...This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, but what's perhaps more ridiculous is the fact that I see no better course of action than to play along.)
Salaryman
I understand. Well, then...if I may be so bold to ask, in what way will Miss Matsumoto be helping us, Takami?
Takami
With a Tutorial Battle, of course!
Salaryman
Ah. (I guess I should have seen that coming.)
Takami
I'm just a regular ol' ghost, so I can't do attacks or anything, but Secchan here has some pretty cool ice magic at her disposal!
Takami
(Get it, Secchan? Cool ice magic!)
Setsuko
(you made the same joke 4 hours ago)
Takami
Ready to start the battle, Mister Salaryman?
Salaryman
As ready as I'll ever be. I'm in your care.
Takami
Okay, Secchan, it's all you!
Setsuko
...okay
Setsuko visibly sighs, before standing up behind the counter.
Setsuko
ready yourself, human
A Frencounter begins.